Its funny how people change when they walk away from something, like it doesn’t matter, or worse, like it never did. For some people pretending and carrying on as if nothing is wrong is easy, but for most of us it’s the hardest thing we could ever be asked to do. It’s not fair when we are expected to forget about our past as if it was nothing. We are told to move on, let it go but at the end of the day it’s not that simple, and it’s frustrating when people tell us that it won’t matter in 10 years, because it will; Every experience, every mistake, changes and moulds us into the person we WILL be, so yes what happens today does count for tomorrow.

I find it quite amusing how we always anticipate the negative things in life, yet we are still so shocked when they finally hit us. We are constantly asking for someone to give us a break, and let us live our lives happily and care free but it's never the case when love gets involved, because a heart never breaks evenly and that is a pain that can never be justified. Although love may be our biggest weakness, it is also our greatest strength and I think many of us take it for granted and don't realise what it is until it's gone. I once heard that love always finds it's way, but I doubt that, love can be lost, and if lucky it can also be retrieved. For those who deserve it, I hope it comes back to you.

df

I'm sorry, I'm sorry if I was ever inconsiderate or harsh, I know you have issues and I should have been more understanding, but remember I have issues too. Every time something good comes into life, it always seems to disappear, people that I care about always end up walking out on me, so really I just wait for it and start freaking out when I feel like it's slipping. I know that you didn't leave because of me, and I don't really ever expect to know why you did leave, but I understand that you had to, I was only really upset because you gave me no closure and I was worried. I care about you a lot, and not just as my boyfriend but as my friend. After you moved to Nambour and I saw you in a different way, like you didn't want me to touch you or even talk to you, I had to think about whether you were the type of person I really wanted to be with and it turns out, I do want to be with you. And though it would be hard on my part, I believe that there's always a way to make things work if you really want them to, but that means you have to want it to work as well. All I ever want to be in your life, is one thing that you can be happy about, because you need balance, so that through the good and bad times you still have something to smile about, and if that's not me, and if being with me is going to cause problems in your life then by all means, leave now, but if not and you do have feelings for me then why not stay and try? I don't want to con you or make you feel sorry for me so that you stick around, I would rather honesty, even when it hurts. I don't believe you lead me on, because I know you meant what you said those few weeks we were together before you moved, I know you have other priorities and things to worry about in your life, and please don't feel pressured by me that you have to change all that to please me because that's not what I'm about. I just want to be happy and make you happy, but I know that no one can be happy with someone else, if they aren't happy with themselves first. So I hope this time away has given you the space you need to think about whats going to be good for you in your life, and what's hurting you, and please know I'm not here to try and make your life harder, I am not Kiani and all I would ever ask from you is trust, loyalty and honesty in all circumstances. If you've decided to leave me, I understand, I know that having a girlfriend can sometimes be a burden especially when you've had as many bad experiences in past relationships as we both have. Please don't think I'm angry at you if your choice is to walk away, I will be upset and it will take time for me to get over it but in the end I'll be fine, I have been through this before. But if you're choice is to stay with me then thank you, and I promise my intentions are never to hurt you but only to be something that makes you happy.

End.

Why are we always setting ourselves up to get hurt? I mean, I went through so much with me ex, two years of just constant pain and rejection and mind games, yet I still kept waiting to go back to him, even though I knew how it would end each time. Then again, everything ends one day, so why should we bother with anything when you think about it? Even if you find someone, marry them, and spend the rest of your life with them...Your life still has to end one day, no matter how much you love someone, unconditionally and irrevocably, you will leave them one day if Death doesn't decide to take them first. And who really wants to go through that pain? It hurts enough to break up with our high school boyfriend/girlfriend let alone someone we've spent most of our lives with. How is that in any way fair? I guess we don't think about that when we look for happiness or love, we don't think about the ending, or the beginning, we just think about the moments in between, the memories that will be shared, and I guess we are lucky in the way that we are able to hold onto memories, because after the real things gone, which it will be someday, memories are all we will have left to look back on and feel good about. We are blessed to fall in love, cursed to have our hearts broken, blessed to hold find "the one", and cursed to have to inevitably say goodbye, though we are always blessed, even in death, to share the memories.

Secrets spilled, lies told,

rumors spread and stories unfold.

Disowning family and backstabbing friends,

I swear the drama never ends.

.

Why does the past always have to come back to ruin the present? You're finally ready to move onto something new and the past comes back and slaps you in the face, why? Because life is cruel. Don't tell me there's a reason for everything, if so, show me a fucking reason, cause I see none. All I see is unjustified pain. Don't tell me this all won't matter in 10 years from now because it will. Are you trying to tell me that all the people that committed suicide won't matter by then? Or the scars on my wrist are going to disappear? What about our broken hearts, are they going to rekindle themselves? Are we just going to forget? Nobody really deals with their pain, they just hold it in until its deep enough inside that we can ignore it, but it's always there, it never fades and sure it may get easier to deal with but we will never truly let it go.

congratulations, I hate you

I hope one day you wake up and realise. I hope that when you're alone because everybody is sick of you, I hope you remember me, remember that I put up with every one of your flaws. Remember that I always forgave you, I would have done anything for you, remember that no one will love you as much as I DID. You used to be everything I lived for, now you're everything I hate. You're just an immature little boy who doesn't know when he's crossed the line. Congratulations, I hate you.