New year

A year has now passed, and it all seems to have gone by too quick. Now we wish we would have slowed down, embraced every moment, taking in every experience, but also remembering how quickly we wanted it to end. Now we look back and regret, and in our heads we rethink everything we ever did, every choice, mistake or decision that affected our lives, and how we could have done it differently. We over analyze and obsess over a tiny fraction in our lives, and realize how much of a difference each choice makes in our life every day.

I used to wake up in the mornings and look forward to the day ahead of me, not knowing what mysteries today brings, but knowing I always had you to look forward to. Now when I close my eyes, I don't want to wake up. Everyone has a reason to live, but do we have a reason to die too? Or is that being greedy?

At one stage in life, we will definitely fall, break, lose, disappoint, and sometimes, we don't think we have the strength to go through another day, because if the reason we're living for, suddenly disappears, is that a good enough reason to die? If the only reason we have the strength to wake up in the morning and face the world, if that reason disappears, what do we do next? Please tell me, because I don't know why I'm still here anymore.

They say with the new year, comes another chance to start over, does that mean we can forget? I wish we could. I wish second chances were literal, I wish that people would understand, and I wish that you, you would see me, for the different person that I am, not for who I was. Like I said, with the new year, doesn't come a new life, the meaning is as literal as its name, "A new year", and thats all it is, no new life.